Please come back

Please come back

Dear Mom,

Exactly 14 years have passed since you left me alone in this world, and the time I spent without you have been the hardest one for me. Every passing night whenever I go to bed I hear the echo of your words still ringing in my head unlike any other thing in this universe. Time have molded me, it have taught me how to rise back even when you feel powerless. Your absence has given me the power to heal and that too really fast. But somewhere in my heart I am the same person rather I should say the same guy, the same guy who had never imagined that this would happen, the same guy who still sleep while holding the pillow tightly to me and imagining your presence instead of that pillow, the same child who feel isolated without you. I don’t have the guts to go back to that black night which took you away from me but the more I try to run away from reality, the more it come closer to me.

My single mistake took you far away from me, so far that even if I wish I can’t meet you except in my dreams. But dreams are dreams, right? I wish I would’ve listened to you and shouldn’t have drunk while driving. I wish I would’ve seen what was coming in my way, I wish that the scooty which was crushed by my car wasn’t yours and even if it was then you wouldn’t have been driving it. I still can’t get over the fact that I am the killer of my own mom. I have done such a big crime that if the 13 years I spent in prison would’ve been extended to my lifetime then also it would’ve been less.

Mom, you have given me so much that your debt of love can’t ever be fulfilled by me. I am drained without you Mom. No one can replace your existence in my heart, you are still going to be alive for me. You are still going to be the very best woman I’ve ever met. Your bedtime stories are still going to haunt me, your hands are still going to caress my cheeks like they would do before, your soul will still be present around me. Sometime I imagine you sitting beside me and teaching me how to be a better person in this world, I still remember the way you would slap me every time I would tell a lie and believe me Mom, I never tell a lie now, I never do. But I miss you mom, Please come back. I have everything present around me but not you. I love you Mom and I want you to come back. I need your love though I know I am not deserved to get it but I am a bit selfish and I am in need of it, I know you won’t mind me giving it. I can live without anything else but not you Mom. I am broken in a million of pieces. Please fix me up Mom, please. Please come back. It’s hard to wait now. 

Yours,

R.A.M.

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